There is freedom waiting for you, on the breezes of the sky.  And you ask, “What if I fall?”  Oh, but my darling, “what if you fly?”  Erin Hanson

I love this quote because it reminds me to consider both failure AND success.  For some reason humans tend to squash their dreams because they want to do everything possible to avoid failing.  Do you have a dream that you’ve been holding onto, but you keep letting it go because you’re afraid you’ll fail?  Why does fear of failing carry more weight than taking steps toward your dream?

Fear is a real dream-killer isn’t it?  One day we’re energized about a dream and before you know it all our doubts start creeping into our thoughts.  Then our friends and family, while good-intentioned, also add to the list of the ways we can fail and before you know it the dream is a distant memory.

In my book I talk about fear.  One perspective about fear is that it is “Fantasized Experiences Appearing Real.”  And fear never sounds like fear in our minds; it can sound like prudence and we’ve been taught that it’s good to be prudent!  Anyway, do the below statements sound familiar to you?

• “I found a great house” becomes “I can’t buy the new house because I’ll never sell this one.”
• “I deserve to work for someone who appreciates me” becomes “it isn’t a good time to be job-hunting.”
• “My job is no longer fulfilling” becomes “I’m not qualified to do anything else.”
• “I can totally do that director position that I see posted” becomes “who am I to think I can get that job.”
• “I’d love to work in the Marketing department” becomes “my boss will be mad if I apply for it.”

It’s good to be cautious, but not so cautious that you become paralyzed.  So, what can you do about it?  How about this?  Create a list of things you’d need to do to realize your dream. Break the steps down into small steps forward.

For example, let’s say that you know your job isn’t fulfilling but you’ve talked yourself out of looking for a new job because you don’t believe you’re qualified for anything else.  Make a list of your key skills.  Take a week to do it if that feels good for you.

Next, list the kinds of jobs that you feel you could do.  Take another week to put this together if that feels right.  Now look at some job postings to see if you have the skills or not.  If you have most of the skills, go ahead and apply for the job!  You don’t have to take it and interviewing is good practice.  Those steps alone will help you gain confidence and/or highlight any skill gaps you may have.  This is progress and a whole lot better than just giving in to “I’m not qualified to do anything else.”  If you have skill gaps, identify them and then take small steps towards overcoming them.

If you catch yourself giving up on your dreams because you’re afraid of failing, do yourself a favor and repeat Erin’s inspirational quote:  What if I fall?”  Oh, but my darling, “what if you fly?”

Never give up on your dreams my friend.  Big hug to you.