Just Because It’s Said Doesn’t Make It True

If I told you that you were a unicorn, would you believe it? Probably not. While it’s not likely that you’ve been accused of being a unicorn, I would bet that you’ve been told you’re something else that’s also not true and ideally you won’t believe that either.  And yet we often do.

Years ago, as I was working to build my career, I was focused on doing the highest quality work possible. I am by nature a serious person as well as an introvert.  Take those two qualities and add a pressing deadline and I can seem aloof and unfriendly. Someone who doesn’t know me well might label me any number of things, but that doesn’t mean they’re true. Conversely, if we’re called something like superwoman or superstar, it’s not necessarily true either is it?

I’ll never fully understand how someone could feel entitled enough to label anyone negatively or to be bold enough to declare how someone else is feeling, but it happens.  So, what do you do when it happens to you?  Here are some tips:

1. Ask yourself if you care what they say. If you don’t care, then let it go, no further action required.

2. Is it true? If there’s any truth to what’s being said, it may be worth it to you to understand why you’re behaving in a certain way and whether that behavior is against your values.

3. Decide what you should do (modify your behavior, apologize, explain, etc.) and do it.

One thing you shouldn’t do, however, is enable someone to treat you disrespectfully. I am a firm believer that people will treat you in a way that you allow. So, if someone is disrespectful, calls you names, tells you what they think you are, etc., stop them immediately. Let them know that it’s unacceptable to call you names, label you, etc.  You can do that by saying “you cannot speak to me that way”.

I want you to know that when you know yourself, you believe yourself more than you believe others when it comes to knowing who you are.  I know I’m not arrogant and, as a result, I couldn’t care less if someone who doesn’t know or like me calls me arrogant.  If someone tells you you’re lazy or uncaring or anything else and you know it’s not true, trust yourself to know your truth.

When you know who you are and what matters the most to you, you will quiet a lot of the negativity and judgment that may come your way.  Time is precious.  Don’t spend it feeling bad about yourself because someone who doesn’t care about you said something negative.  Remember, just because they say it, doesn’t make it true.

Take good care!