If Everything is a Priority, Nothing is a Priority
I hope you’re well. Here in the Midwest, it’s cold and rainy and the first snow flurries have come and gone. For me, this time of year means lots of lists of things to do and this inspired the topic for today’s blog.
When I was working full-time, the lists not only contained the things I needed to do for my family, but they were chock full of things to do for work. I never managed to get everything on my lists done all the time. In fact, I took immense pleasure in making sure that the lists were never-ending.
As I reflect on my work life, I managed to complete the things that really mattered whether it was to attend a dance recital, make a costume, complete an important project for work or have a date night with my husband. Was it always pretty? Absolutely not!
Most of the things that mattered were top on my list, but I worked my butt off and stressed over many things that really didn’t matter. Why? Because I didn’t want to fail to measure up to some ridiculous standard. I put a lot of unnecessary pressure on myself, and I know that many of you do the same. Sometimes we need to give ourselves a break. One way to do that is to let go of time-wasting activities.
For example, I used to iron my kids’ clothes. I would iron for seven hours every Sunday. My mom taught me that clothes shouldn’t be wrinkled. She ironed all the time, even after working a forty-hour week herself. One day my mother-in-law took me aside and told me that I should loosen my standards. That advice gave me seven hours of freedom a week.
Another waste of time is worrying about whether people like you. DO NOT spend another minute worrying about the people who don’t care about or like you; they don’t deserve your time. Spend your time with people who care about you and do all you can to treat them the same. You can’t be liked by everyone and spending another sleepless night fretting about someone who is never going to like you is stealing time from yourself and those who do care about you. Let them go!
Don’t worry about whether you will lose your job. Do your best work, be honest and be respectful of your colleagues. Outside of these steps, you have no control over whether you will lose your job so worrying about it doesn’t help. Also, know that if you’re working for someone who consistently makes you feel insecure, consider leaving. Good managers lift their team members; they don’t manage with fear.
Do take care of yourself. Put yourself on your list. I don’t care if you only have 10-15 minutes to spare a day, be sure that you do something that makes you feel good. As I reflect on the busiest time in my life, I can remember being angry inside because I was exhausted. I didn’t know how to ask for help and I was an expert at looking like everything was easy for me. It wasn’t.
If everything is a priority, nothing is a priority. My friends, please put your highest priorities on your list of things to do and make sure that YOU are on the list as well. Be well!