I’ve been reading the book “The Listening Path: The Creative Art of Attention” by Julia Cameron. I am a new fan of Julia’s work and this book has given me a lot of things to think about because I’ve been thinking a lot about listening.
Listening is important, but I often fail miserably at it and don’t know why. At work, I’ve always kept what I would call journals – big notebooks with hundreds of pages. At every conversation, I would jot notes and would explain to the other person(s) that I did this because it helped me to thoroughly “hear” the conversation. That works so well for me because I can replay the conversation after the conversation and capture the nuances of the commentary. Unfortunately, when it comes to personal conversations, I imagine it would be strange for me to bring a notebook. I listen, but I don’t always “hear” what’s being said. I think I need my notebook! Ugh.
Being heard is so important, isn’t it? I was recently speaking with someone or perhaps I should say I was present when he was talking at me. I mean he never stopped talking. He hopped from one topic to another without barely pausing and never invited me into the discussion. After about ten minutes, all I could think about was how to get away with grace. Having experienced this made me hyper-aware of the importance of a two-way conversation where you’re truly listening and bringing the other person into the discussion.
I can recall conversations with people who are excellent listeners. For example, have you ever had a conversation where the other person leaned in to hear and asked questions about what you said? They leave you feeling like what you said mattered to them. That’s what I want to do for other people as well.
Julia’s book is filled with many suggestions for becoming a better listener. These suggestions help you to be more mindful of your surroundings and the people in it.
I’m going to really work on this because I know that it’s a gift to be heard. In fact, it’s a gift for both the speaker and the listener because when we listen, we learn. Julia shares the following quote by David W. Augsburger:
Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person, they are almost indistinguishable.
Be well my friends.
