Don’t Let Doubt Kill Your Dreams
I’ve been reading a book by Julia Cameron called “It’s Never Too Late to Begin Again.” I think I’m starting to be a true Julia Cameron fan and this book doesn’t disappoint. Anyway, the book includes a quote by Suzy Kassem: “Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.” When I read it, it stopped me in my tracks because it’s completely true.
Over the years I’ve seen so many people give up on their dreams because they were filled with doubt. Doubt that they couldn’t do the work. Doubt that they couldn’t compete with others for the job. Doubt that they wouldn’t be supported to do what they needed to do or saddest of all, doubt that they deserved to have the dream in the first place.
Doubt can mask itself as protection. If you just stay put and allow yourself only to have “reasonable” expectations for your life, you won’t get hurt. You won’t know the pain of disappointment or failure and you can play it safe. But will you feel the same years from now when you look back and realize how many times you let doubt rule your life? The thought of that has always made me so sad.
Sometimes we spend more time making up stories for ourselves about why our dream can’t come true than we spend trying to make it come true. For example, let’s say that you are sure you’re capable of doing work at a higher level. You think about the situation, and you start to get irritated that your manager hasn’t thought to offer you the job. Instead of talking to your manager, you tell yourself that your boss wouldn’t give the job to you anyway so it’s just a waste of time to talk to her. You might even tell yourself that you’re lucky to have the job you have and wanting more seems selfish. Or you look at a job description and there are two things you’re not an expert in so you convince yourself that you should learn those things before you “deserve” the opportunity. Or you feel that you are too old to achieve your dreams. Sigh.
Think about the people you admire. Do you think they’ve never had doubts? Of course, they’ve had doubts, but they forged ahead anyway.
So, what do you do when doubt starts to kill your dreams? First, listen to how you talk to yourself. Is your internal dialogue a dream-killer? If you’re telling yourself that your boss won’t give you a chance, say aloud “I can’t control what she does, but I can control asking for the position.” Then plan for doing just that.
If you hear yourself say “I should just be grateful for what I have,” say out loud “I am grateful for all I’ve been given but that doesn’t mean I can’t want more for myself.” If you say to yourself that you don’t deserve to have the dream, say aloud “I deserve the very best in life; I am not here to play small!”
Listen, we all have doubts. I have it from time to time, but when it creeps in, I change my internal dialogue as I’ve described above. It works for me, and I hope it will work for you. Just remember, you deserve good things in your life. Never ever give up on your dreams. Big hug.