Are You Stuck Because You’re Afraid?
Yesterday’s post was this quote from Wayne Dyer: You are not stuck where you are unless you decide to be. That is a powerful quote and a reminder that we are in command of our own lives. If we’re not where we want to be, the answers aren’t “out there,” they’re within you. Within all of us.
It’s easy to find excuses when things aren’t where we want them to be, but no matter what we come up with, the real issue is fear. The things we say to ourselves might sound like the following:
- I can’t leave now, I’m getting a bonus (in 8 months).
- I don’t want to tell them I’m interested in that higher-level position because they’ll just say no.
- The job of my dreams requires a degree and that’s impossible.
- Sure, I’ll look into it (but then you don’t)
- I wanted to apply, but I missed the deadline
- The kids start school soon and I shouldn’t do something new now
- They’ll never see me that way
- They don’t like me
Now I want to clarify that just because someone doesn’t do new things doesn’t mean they’re stuck. If someone is doing the same thing for years, but really enjoying it, that’s fantastic. There’s nothing better than seeing someone doing what they love. It’s the best.
If on the other hand, you are stuck and miserable and everyone knows you’re miserable, then that requires some self-reflection and some personal accountability. The person that’s choosing this path is you. It’s your choice. You can either accept that or change your path.
People who don’t accept accountability usually blame everyone else. They don’t like me, they can’t see me that way, I don’t have the right clothes, etc.
It takes courage to look within and admit that the only one stopping you is you. If you really want to go forward, take some time to think about what you’re afraid of and why it’s stopping you in your tracks. The reality is the following (all internal statements):
- I’m afraid I’ll fail. (What if you don’t?)
- I don’t have the confidence to go for the job. (What will it take to be more confident?)
- They’ll never see me that way or they don’t like me. (How will you know if you don’t try?)
It breaks my heart when people are stuck for years, but it’s a choice and we all must live our own lives. If you’re stuck, you’re afraid and you owe it to yourself to understand what you’re afraid of. I hope you can let that fear go at some point; it’s not serving you.
I am closing with Marianne Williamson’s quote about fear. I hope it inspires you in some way, it inspires me every time I read it.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
That is powerful my friends. You weren’t put here to play small and let your dreams die on the vine. Take some time to think about what you’re afraid of (my book can help!) and live the life you were meant to live.
Be well.