Life Changes with a Thought
Our thoughts are powerful. Beyond powerful. They can convince a perfectly happy person that they’re miserable or lacking in some way. They can convince someone who is well on their way to realizing their dreams that they’ll never get there. They can also convince a completely unprepared person that they’re the next best thing to sliced bread. Thoughts are not only powerful; they’re agile and able to change in a nanosecond.
I mentioned in my book that I’m working on being more meditative. I don’t know that I will ever be one to meditate, but I have always done meditative things. When I was a kid, I lived a few miles from Lake Michigan (still my favorite place) and whenever I was troubled by something I would go to the park and think through whatever it was that was on my mind.
The way I remember it is that I needed to quiet the noise in my head and try to dig deeper to what was really going on in my life. More times than not once I stepped back from my life, I could see things for what they were and inevitably I came to some type of resolution.
I thought about some of the thoughts I had over the years and thought I’d walk down memory lane a bit. Maybe you’ll see some of your thoughts in these as well.
I’m Failing
I remember once when I was about 38, I was put in charge of a technology project. I remember an executive who I looked up to who consistently let me know that he had way more experience in this area and his job was simply to let me know if I was falling short of expectations. Let’s just say that he was an overachiever as it relates to that goal.
I remember calling a friend who also happened to be consulting on the project and I cried (sobbed!) and said that I was failing. Poor woman, I don’t think she knew what to say. Here’s what I learned: I wasn’t failing, I was working on a challenging project and learning. I also learned that the executive knew even less about the work than I did, but he spent most of his time at work establishing himself as an expert on everything. He wasn’t.
Sometimes learning feels like failing. Keep going. Keep learning.
I’m Not as Good as Someone Else
I’m not a competitive person by nature, but I used to worry that I wasn’t as smart as some of my colleagues. I think this thinking started when I compared myself to people with degrees when I hadn’t yet finished school. After that I always assumed that someone who went to Harvard, Yale, Brown, etc. was smarter than I.
Comparing yourself will always leave you feeling more than or less than and neither one is accurate. If your thoughts take you down the comparison path, tell them to knock it off. Compete with your best self in whatever it is that’s important to you and tell any thoughts focused on competition to get the heck out of your head. There’s always going to be someone who is “smarter”, “better”, whatever. It really doesn’t matter and deserves none of your time.
He/She Doesn’t Love Me
This is a tough one. I’ve had my heart shattered; it happens to all of us. People come and go in our lives. People will hurt you, there’s no question about that. Thinking about them as lessons will help. Stepping back from the relationship and thinking about what’s best for you and your life helps, but it takes time. Sometimes lots of time. You will heal from the hurt. Don’t build walls around your heart to protect it because those walls don’t truly serve you in the end.
You Must Be Your Best Friend
I’ll end this by saying that the one constant you have in life is the relationship you have with yourself. If you are not who you want to be, decide what you’ll change and take steps to do so. Appreciate who you are today. Appreciate all you’ve learned and all that you are. Know that no one is perfect; we are all works in progress. When you’re thinking about what you’re grateful for, appreciate yourself. You are the only one of you that has ever been. You have a purpose. Find it.
Your life really does change with a thought and the great news is that YOU are in charge of the thoughts.
Be well.
