I’ll start with the obvious. The big decisions in life are tough to make because there are usually pros and cons to them. Saying “yes” to something means saying “no” to something else.
I’ve been at the proverbial fork in the road countless times. The easiest decisions, of course, reveal many positives and few negatives. Deciding to leave a position that I’d outgrown so that I could take on a position with better pay and greater challenges were typically easy for me to make. That said, I always hated having to tell my manager that I was leaving.
When I think about my friend’s dilemma that I posted about yesterday, her situation is a tough one for her and it’s a situation that we often face at work. She isn’t sure whether she wants to stay or leave. We’ve all been there.
In my book, I share my friend Paula’s story. She didn’t feel appreciated at work, she was constantly asked to do more than was humanly possible and she consistently felt that there was no way she’d ever catch up. She couldn’t do the work that she knew mattered most, not only to her but to the organization for which she worked. She struggled making the decision to leave because she somehow convinced herself that this situation was her fault and she wanted to make it right. It wasn’t her fault; it was just a lousy situation.
My post yesterday said that the universe conspires with you. Paula couldn’t decide to leave, but her position was eventually eliminated. It was tough to see the blessing in the moment, but she’s gone on to a much more rewarding situation and is finding time in her life to do things that bring her joy. She’s happier than she’s been in a long time.
So how do you know if you should stay or go? In chapter 8 of my book, I share several considerations, but I will highlight a few for you below. Please note that I am assuming you’re a good performer.
Good Reasons to Stay:
- You’re learning and gaining valuable experience.
- You’re paid fairly for the work that you do.
- You are supported by your manager.
Good Reasons to Leave:
- You aren’t supported by your manager. It’s incredibly difficult to succeed at work without your boss’ support.
- You aren’t paid fairly.
- You’ve outgrown your job and there’s nowhere else to go in the company.
Of course, there are extenuating circumstances where it might make sense to stay no matter what. For example, maybe you’re dealing with a medical issue and you need the benefits’ coverage provided by your employer.
I believe that it’s important to speak to your manager to understand what can be improved. It’s possible that your manager has no idea you don’t feel supported. It’s also possible that some managers have no idea they’re not paying you fairly. When I’ve had these situations, I always felt that I could leave with a clear conscience if I had made reasonable efforts to bring shortcomings to my manager’s attention. My book helps you frame challenging conversations like this.
I often say that life is short. Staying someplace simply because you’ve failed to decide to leave is not in your best interest. It’s your life, my friend. Own it, don’t allow others to own it for you. You don’t have to make a fast decision, but take the time to assess what’s best for you and decide. Not deciding is also a decision, but it may not be the best one for you. You can do this.
Big hug to you.
