January 2021

Newton’s third law of motion says that for every action in nature, there is an equal and opposite reaction. In other words, when you push on something, it will push back equally as hard.
In the book, I share a quote from a YouTube video where Oprah shared her thoughts on this law. Here is what she said:
“No matter what you do, the energy of what you do, what you say and, most important, the energy of who you are is going out into the world, into your home, into your relationships and that energy is always coming back to you. You are responsible for every energy that you are putting out into the world because that very energy (bam!) is coming right back to you every single time whether you believe it or not because it is law.”
This law shows up in many ways at work. The first example that comes to mind is a person I know who seemed to come to every conversation with an air of grievance. It was palpable and I used to say that you could almost see that this person had boxing gloves on before a word was even spoken by someone else.
When someone comes to you with boxing gloves on what do you do? You tend to make sure you’ve got yours on as well – or at least that they’re close by. One side or the other is ready to take the first punch. That kind of energy is not productive, and most people would rather just avoid it. The people who wear the gloves in the first place often wonder why people don’t “like” them or why they’re so misunderstood.
In situations where you feel misunderstood, take a step back and ask yourself if you’re showing up as you intend. Is your behavior aligned with your intention? Do you intend to make people feel defensive? If so, think about what you can and should do differently. Can you imagine the impact that it would have if you approached those you put on the defense and ask how you might work better together? Would you be willing to say, “you know, I never feel that my discussions with you are what I hope they could be, and I’d like to understand what’s causing this”?
On the other hand, if you’re the kind of person who genuinely puts positive vibes out into the world, you feel that positive energy come right back to you don’t you? If you are feeling down, you will feel better if you do something positive for someone else. Even looking someone in the eye, asking how they’re doing and listening to their response can be a powerful and positive conversation and it’s free.
Take stock of your energy. We all have bad days, but if you feel negative energy on a regular basis, take the time to understand what’s going on. Are you inadvertently putting out negative energy and what you’re experiencing is that energy coming back to you? Look in the mirror and let the answers come to you. I know they will.

In my book Authenticity Reawakened, there’s a chapter called “100 Ways to Authenticity”. One of the most unusual ways is “to moisturize” and I thought I’d take the opportunity to explain why this made the list. First a little background.

When I was working full-time, going to school at night and raising my children, I had virtually no time for self-care of any kind. My morning routine took exactly 25 minutes and that included making sure that the kids were dressed for the day as well. I was a tired mom and I clung to as much sleep as possible because our babies often awoke in the middle of the night. I wanted to be there for them when they awoke and some of my fondest memories include my rocking them and watching their sweet faces drift back to sleep while snuggled in my arms. Taking care of myself wasn’t at the top of my list and it showed. When I look back at pictures of myself, it’s obvious that I was tired, but I didn’t know what I didn’t know. I now know that taking care of yourself is so important. And taking care of your skin is an important and loving gesture to give to yourself.

In a blog on HuffPost “Skin: How to Care for Our Largest Organ”, Deborah Burnes points out that healthy skin plays a significant role in our overall health. Skin literally holds our bodies together and as is true for many things, it’s easy to take for granted. Burnes says that “skin covers about 18 square feet of the human body” and that it’s “vital for our survival both emotionally and physically.” In the HuffPost article “When Skin Care is Also Self-Care”, Lauren Rearick quotes Rena Jogi, a dermatologist and affiliated physician with Memorial Hermann Memorial Hermann Memorial City Medical Center in Houston who said the following: “When you do a skin care routine, you’re usually alone, in your bathroom or somewhere quiet, and it’s just you and the mirror. There’s something slightly meditative about just sitting there and taking that 10 minutes just for you.”

Amen! Now that I have time to care for my skin, I find it incredibly therapeutic. I appreciate that my health literally shows up on my skin. When I pay attention to my skin, I pay attention to my health and my health is important to me. While it might seem like a silly item in the list of things to do to be more authentic, I guarantee that if you take some time to look at, care for and appreciate your skin you will come to appreciate how it enables a deeper appreciation for “you”. My book is available on Amazon.com. What are some of the ways that you put yourself on your list?

One of the chapters in my book Authenticity Reawakened: The Path to OWNING Your Life’s Story and Fulfilling Your Purpose is called 100 Ways to Authenticity. I will share the full list with you in the blog over time, but you can, of course, see it for yourself if you purchase the book.

In addition to the tools and exercises in the book, I highlighted 100 different things you can do to know yourself better and to decide which aspects of yourself you’ll bring to work and life.

One way to be more authentic is to journal. There’s something very therapeutic about sitting down and writing to yourself. I don’t like rules about how this should be done, so I won’t provide you with any, but it’s a powerful practice.

I used to keep journals at work. I’d write down my “things to do”, I’d note how I felt about meetings or tasks, I’d draw, I’d set goals, etc. When I read those notes now, I understand and appreciate my personal journey.

In my book I share a journal entry that I made years ago. It captures how I felt in that moment and it shows how powerful journaling can be. Here’s what I wrote:

“I’m not paying attention to the people or things that matter most to me. I’m not productive. I feel that my mindset isn’t helpful to me. I’m worried about how I’m spending my time and I worry that I’ll look back at this time and regret how I’m spending it. I’m never 100% present! That’s not how I want to spend my life.”

That entry flowed freely, and it was exactly what I needed to know about myself at the time I wrote it. I was troubled but it wasn’t until I saw the words on the page that I realized why. Looking back at it, I can see that it’s also a reminder of why I don’t ever want to lose myself in the same way again.

You don’t need fancy notebooks or pens, but if those things will help you get in the habit of journaling then go ahead and get them. Just make some time to get in touch with your thoughts in your own way and I know that you’ll get insights that will help you get in touch with your authentic self.

I don’t know how this happens, but I believe that when you’re alone with your thoughts, you get the messages that you need. As you can see in the journal entry I shared above, it was a message I needed to hear but when I wrote it I was sad that this was how I felt.

Journaling is just one way of many to get in touch with yourself, but I hope you’ll give it a try.

Question: For those of you who have been journaling, how has it enriched your life and authenticity? What advice would you give to those who are just getting started?