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December 2020

Presence or Presents_

Presence or Presents?

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I was speaking with a woman last week who lost her job in 2020 (a common tale) and doesn’t currently have any prospects for work.  My heart hurts for her.  While I’m working to help her, it’s a tough time for her and there’s no relief in sight. 

We started talking about celebrating Christmas.  She said something along the lines of “I can’t celebrate.  I have no money and I can’t buy anything for anyone so that’s how I’m going to celebrate.”  I took that in and had a flashback to my childhood.  Money was always tight, and my parents used to be sad during the holidays.  Without a doubt, they were sad because they wanted to give us more than they did.  We seriously didn’t care about that, but they had a preconceived notion that Christmas was a failure if there wasn’t a bunch of presents under the tree.  What I remember most is that Christmas never felt joyful.

I asked this woman what she got for her family last year for Christmas.  I could see that she was really thinking about it.  As she did, a big smile crossed her face and she said, “I have absolutely no idea!”  I said “ok then, tell me what your favorite gift was last year”.  She smiled and said, “I have no idea!”  I shared with her that I have no idea what I gave or got last year either and that pretty much sums up why those kinds of gifts have their place but they’re not all that meaningful. 

I shared with her what I wished I had received from my parents that I would have to this day had they given it as a gift.  I wished that I had a letter from my parents just telling me how much I meant to them.  They’ve both been gone for some time and I absolutely know that I was loved and adored, but a letter like that would’ve been “free” and would’ve been a gift that I would have cherished forever.

I asked my friend if she thought she could do something like this for her daughter.  She agreed that she could indeed. 

Last week I talked about traditions and how Christmas cookies have meant so much to me.  I’d rather bake cookies for someone than trudge through the mall trying to find a gift.  In fact, my husband just met a friend today to deliver his annual tray of his favorite cookie.  They don’t cost much to make, but they convey that I care about him and his family. 

Things are super tough for a lot of people right now, but I hope that we learn the importance of our “presence” rather than our “presents”.  Tell the people that you care about that you care about them.  Thank them for the gifts they give you just by being in your life.  Find joy in the small things which I’m convinced are truly the “big” and most meaningful things in life.

Has someone given you a gift that you will cherish forever?  I’d love to know more!

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Pre-Order my new book!

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I’m excited to share with you that I’ve written a book!  Authenticity Reawakened: The Path to OWNING Your Life’s Story and Fulfilling Your Purpose is currently available for presale and I hope you’ll consider purchasing a copy.  The presale period is an important time for book launches so I’m offering a discount through January 14th. I hope that you will consider picking up a copy of the book.  The Kindle edition can be preordered now by using this link.  What I’ve learned is that presales are really important to the success of a book, so as a special incentive to readers to preorder, I’m offering a special price of $1.99 through January 14th.  The price will move to $9.99 on January 15th. If you prefer a print edition, the presale period will begin on December 28th at a price of $15.97.  The book will be available on January 15th.

I hope that you will consider picking up a copy and encouraging your friends and family, especially those who are early to mid-career professionals to do so as well. Thank you so much to everyone with whom I’ve worked over the years; I appreciate all you’ve taught me.

Tradition and Legacy

Tradition and Legacy

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As is true for most days, I’m sitting at my computer while Buster, my chihuahua, is snoring under a pile of blankets next to my desk. I am the kind of person who likes consistency and Buster seems to feel the same way. If I don’t head up to the office by 9am, he’s standing by the stairway as if to say “uh, I don’t think you realize it’s time to get to work!”

With the holiday season well underway, I know two things for sure. First, the holiday experience is completely different than it was when the kids were little. My goodness, I have such great memories, but I know that there was a lot going on back then. Let’s just say there was more than one Christmas Eve when I was up till the wee hours wrapping presents.

Second, I know for sure that tradition matters so much. I’ll share some of my favorite traditions with you and I’d love to hear yours!

Every year when we put up our Christmas tree, my husband proudly hangs his Christmas tree ornament that he made when he was five. I always put it on top of the ornament box because as you can see it’s showing its age. We smile every year when we place it on the tree.

My favorite tradition is making cookies. My mom wasn’t really a cookie baker; she excelled at pies, but cookies weren’t her thing. I learned about holiday cookies from my mother-in-law Irene. My husband’s favorite childhood memory is the smell in the kitchen when his mom was making snickerdoodles. I remember being at her home and seeing her make tassies, which are kind of like a miniature pecan pie. They are delicious.

I had never seen the cookie-baking tradition before.  I loved watching Irene bake dozens of cookies, each baked with love.  I realized that this was a gift and one that would be appreciated more than anything that could be bought at a store.  

My cookie tradition begins every year with baking a batch of snickerdoodles.  Without fail, my husband will tell me the story about how much he loved the smell in the kitchen when his mom made them. I smile along with him and it feels like Christmas.

I remember her home so clearly at Christmas.  I can instantly recall Irene’s kitchen, her laughter and her baking.  I can still feel how much she loved her family.  Irene passed away several years ago while still in her sixties.  She is missed by all her knew her.  I talk about legacy in my book.  She left behind an amazing legacy.  

Sometimes we worry so much about what to buy someone, but those aren’t the gifts that really matter.  A simple cookie baked with love can mean so much to a family.  It does to mine.  

What are your traditions?  I’d really love to hear from you!

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Welcome to my blog!

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Hello!  I’m so excited to meet you here in this blog.  Thank you so much for taking time out of your day to be here.

I thought I’d take some time to introduce myself and share the thinking behind my new (and so far “only”) book called Authenticity Reawakened:  The Path to OWNING Your Life’s Story and Fulfilling Your Purpose.

Like most people I can’t be summed up in a few words.  I’m a person who wakes up most days deeply appreciating that I’m here to experience this life.  I’m blessed to have a wonderful family, great friends, a home and a lifetime of amazing work experiences.  I’ll talk about all these aspects of my life in future blogs.

I am the youngest of twelve children, although I only grew up with one of my siblings.  This is a long, complicated story that I won’t dive into here.  My parents did the best they could in life, and I love them dearly, but they struggled with alcoholism and that made most things in my childhood inconsistent and unpredictable.  We often didn’t know where the next meal was coming from and they weren’t equipped to help us with things like developing good study habits or preparing for work.

It takes a village to raise a child and without a doubt my life was better simply because of where I grew up. I had great teachers at my local public school and saw families where parents guided their kids to go to church, to study and to have life aspirations.  They went to their kids’ events and rooted for them in countless ways.  I knew that when I had kids, I wanted to do the same.

You’ll hear a lot about my career in the book.  I’m so proud of and grateful for the work that I was able to do in areas such as Finance and Human Resources.  What I know now is that my childhood experiences, especially those that were the most challenging, equipped me to do well at work.  I appreciate the importance of spending money carefully and as the child of alcoholics I learned how to read people quickly and how to lead others because I’d been leading myself since I was eight years old.

After leaving my job in 2020, I wanted to realize my lifelong dream of writing a book.  I chose the topic of authenticity because after forty years of working, the one thing I know for sure is that you really can’t be anyone other than who you are.  Sure, you can fake it for a while, perhaps even years, but eventually it becomes apparent that the path to your purpose is paved with your values and authenticity.  You’re the only “you” there will ever be on this planet.  Spending time as anyone else is a slap in the face to the universe.

While I learned to be myself at work and have shared examples in the book, I didn’t just write about my own experiences; I did a ton of research and have shared what I learned with you in the book as well.  I learned so much and know you will as well.

I’ve always loved books.  They saved me more times than I can say.  I now realize that when you walk into a bookstore or a library and you look at those books on the shelf, know that each one is someone’s dream and their gift to the reader.

My book is a dream come true for sure and it’s my gift to you.  I did my absolute best to write something that would be helpful to you.  Thank you so much for joining me here.  I hope that you will continue to do so.

I’m so honored that you’re here.  Thank you so very much.

Now I’d like to learn something about you!  Can you tell me something about yourself that will help me know you better?  I truly want to know you and your stories.

Until next time my friend, be well!